NO BSHow to write your first five minutes
Five minutes sounds like a lot until you are staring at a blank page. Here is a process that reliably fills it with material that is actually yours.
Start from real premises
A premise is just a strong opinion or a true observation about your life. What annoys you, what is different about how you grew up, what you notice that others do not mention. List ten of these before you try to write a single joke.
Turn a premise into a joke
A joke is a setup that points the audience one way and a punchline that snaps them another. Take one premise, write the plainest version of the setup, then brainstorm five different punchlines. Most will be bad. One will be a keeper.
Doing this five times gives you five jokes, which is a first set. Stage One walks through this with the Five-Joke Builder if you want the full worksheet.
Ready to write your set? Stage One is the full step-by-step guide, launch price 6.99 dollars. Or grab the free 10 Mistakes guide first.
Tighten every word
New jokes are almost always too long. Cut every word that does not lead to the laugh. The shorter the setup, the harder the punchline hits. Read it out loud and trim until it feels lean.
Order the set to build
Open with your second strongest joke, close with your strongest, and put the rest in the middle. Starting strong earns attention, closing strong earns the applause. Write the order on a card so you never freeze wondering what is next.
Rehearse out loud
Say the set standing up, out loud, until the words are automatic. The goal is to know it well enough that on stage you can listen to the room instead of hunting for your next line.
Next step: get on a list this week. Reading about it is not doing it, and the first set is the one that changes everything.